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Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The latest from the PDC

The lame-duck Goldschmidt crew at the Portland Development Commission have delivered what I hope is their parting shot. At a recent retreat, they declared that Portland needs to become a "world-class city," like Atlanta or Bilbao, Spain.

And get this -- “The tram is a good start. The Pearl is there. But we’ve got a long way to go." Hey, PDC underachievers -- don't let the door hit you in the heiny!

Comments (13)

we got the red ball before atlanta and bilbao, so i'd say we're a step ahead...

now we just need guggenheim to design something for us - maybe a museum. or we could get a giant bean like in chicago.

Yeah, we need more dangerous, impoverished city areas - just like those other cities. At least we have a tram - take THAT Shelbyville!

Of course, having a city with as much commerce as London would be nice. But at the rate the City Council is driving out good folks like Columbia Sportwear, we're gonna be lucky to outrank Pendleton in 20 years.

No, we need a monument to Portland politicians' dogged pursuit of hubris at the direct expense of livability. Let's get rid of the elk statue downtown and replace it with one of the following:

-A giant car stereo to represent the thieved items that become currency in the meticulously neglected world of Portland property crime; or

-A perpetual smoke machine to represent Portland's ever-increasing and never-addressed traffic congestion and concurrent waste.

Better yet, we could combine boondoggles--one that didn't happen and one that will, and build a giant park on top of the tram and its cabling. How could that be possible? Shush, don't let reason get in your way. This is about creating a political legacy. Besides, the docs will be happy with the tram's greenbelt view and the residents benefit from raining dog poop.

I was hoping we could include a Magic Kingdom where no children are allowed at the terminus of the gondola.

You got PDC right.

Now lets dump more Goldshit garbage:

Portland spent $7 million on "planning" (per the Tax Supervising and Conservation Commission, 2002-03, page 113).

Portland spent $9 million on "community development" (per the Tax Supervising and Conservation Commission, 2002-03, page 112).

Portland spent $4 million on "special approperiations - community development" (per the Tax Supervising and Conservation Commission, 2002-03, page 113).

Then there's METRO: $18 MILLION on Planning (per the Tax Supervising and Conservation Commission, 2002-03, page 82)

Isn't it great living in a well planned city?

If your taxes are too high, be sure to see the million dollar (almost) condo that pays $150 per year in property tax at www.saveportland.com


Wow. Metro spent $10 per person on planning? Gosh, I was going to do SO much with that $10. Like buy four gallons of gas to drive further in a poorly-planned community. Oh, but my extra four gallons was every month. Saved = $120. Spent $10. Guess I'll shut up now.

Isn't it great living in a well planned city?

Um, yes, it is.

Next question?

JK>"Isn't it great living in a well planned city?"""

Yes, and we know it has been well planned because the planners tell us so.
Sort of decree-based planning.
And as long as the planners decide if we have good planning they get to keep their planning jobs.

Well, if you take the $18M plus the $7.5M for the Miami attorneys (doesn't anyone in town do that, or does every qualified law firm have a conflict?) You could probably pave a good percentage of the unpaved streets in Portland.

What world class city has dirt roads?

AHH!! PDC, Have PDC help finance a criminally insane group home in your backyard.

Have real big city diversity in your neighborhood. PDC will gladly assist your only to eager non-profit caregiver with a way below market rate of 3 percent to get five "new neighbors" of your very own.

Then the more "progressive" of you can take them a plate of your favorite cookies...Hurry there are 234 new "neighbors" waiting as the Oregonian said in a lead editorial,"ALL DRESSED UP WITH NO PLACE TO GO!"

Come on...get yours today...(info via FOIA research)PS. As you can see. I'M STILL P-SS-D

I often wonder where this magical city is, that some of you have clearly visited which so plainly exceeds Portland in every way. There are no derelict buildings, no official is corrupt, lazy, unbalanced, naive or spendthrift. Drugs are not a problem, and thus neither is crime. Businesses come and stay, without asking for any ridiculous sweetheart incentive. Planning commissions never think small, nor do they think big--their developments are neither ambitious nor modest and Dresdenesque. And each constituency somehow manages to have their personal political needs precisely met.

I would gladly go to this untroubled, uninefficient, unbelievable place...but I hear the parking is nonexistent.

Wow, this is great. Maybe they can get one of them fancy architects to redesign one of the five payday loan places within walking distance of my house. It would add so much class to my up-and-coming world-class neighborhood.

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