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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

DeLay's guilty, insider says

A source close to House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said today that she saw first-hand that the Texas Republican had indeed committed the crime on which he was indicted.

"I saw and heard the whole thing," said Skippy, a squirrel who resigned last April from her position on top of DeLay's head. "He was definitely in on the scam." Skippy and DeLay parted ways over the intemperate remarks that DeLay made about federal judges in reaction to the Terry Schiavo case. She was replaced by a squirrel who was recruited from the staff of Sen. Trent Lott, R-Mississippi.

"I doubt DeLay will do time," Skippy said today on a brief break from her current job of gathering nuts on the Capitol Mall. "They never do. But he ought to."

Comments (6)

Things you can learn from your local paper:

The Washington Post reported ealrier this year that black squirrels and grey squirrels are the same species. Black squirrels are found a lot in Canada, where their black coats absorb more warmth from the sun and allow them to get through the winter a little easier. Grey squirrels like being warm too, but get an advantage in warmer areas because their grey coats are harder for predators to see.

In the late 1800's/early 1900's American squirrels were hunted so aggressively that Teddy Roosevelt feared they'd go extinct. He brought a population of black squirrels from Canada and released them in the National Zoo. Since that time, that original black squirrel population has spread out and moved north, often displacing grey squirrels -presumably (and this is me, not the WaPo) because the population of squirrel predators has declined. In the absence of all those hawks, the marginal advantage of better cammo has given way to a marginal advantage for warmer winter coats.

Either that or God did it. Or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Or it might disprove global warming because more black squirrels must mean the winters have been colder.

Actually, the grey squirrels have been decimated by cancer that they contracted by eating potato chips.

Jack said, "Actually, the grey squirrels have been decimated by cancer that they contracted by eating potato chips."

And, because evolution forgot to give grey squirrels adaptation, they keep running under car wheels.
Lots of them on my local streets.

35 years ago in Eastmoreland it was possums in nearly every road kill.

Now it's squirrels and raccoons.

The squirrel in question could have just been arguing that all the other squirrel's should get raises; either that or they would all reveal the hiding places for all the nuts. Who has the highest squirrel budget? Or is it nut budget? If we cut the squirrel budget will the number of manageable hiding places for nuts go down?

So, what you're saying Ron is "Follow the nuts?"

What I was saying was that folks like Tom need staff to get their job done, and that the staff hold secrets (the nuts - hiding places - for any dirty work) too.

One weakness in my argument is that "unpaid" interns sometimes hold cards too.

The whole place is a nuthouse.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference DeLay's guilty, insider says:

» No insider trading involved, majority leader says from Unpartisan.com Political News and Blog Aggregator
WASHINGTON — Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said Monday that he had no insider information [Read More]

» Roy Blunt is just as corrupt as Tom DeLay. from Brains And Eggs
But you don't have to just take my word for it. [Read More]

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