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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 17, 2006 5:21 PM. The previous post in this blog was More property taxes for your! aerial! tram! [rim shot]. The next post in this blog is March Sadness. Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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« More property taxes for your! aerial! tram! [rim shot] | Main | March Sadness »

Friday, March 17, 2006

Today's Joke Setup

Phil Collins and his young wife have announced that they're separating.

Punchlines, please.

Posted at 5:21 PM | Permalink

Comments (30)

It's terrible having old age creep up on you... every night.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 17, 2006 5:42 PM

Take a look at him now, there�s just an empty space, and her going back to him is against the odds, and that�s what he�s got to face.

Posted by Bill McDonald | March 17, 2006 7:30 PM

Didn't she learn anything from Anna Nicole Smith? You gotta stick it out until he kicks the bucket.

Posted by jason | March 17, 2006 8:23 PM

There�s this girl that�s been on my mind
All the time, Su-su-sue-your-ex.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 17, 2006 8:25 PM

Jack, aren't you really reaching far out here. This was news many days ago. Must be a slow day in P Town...

Posted by aaw | March 17, 2006 9:03 PM

It's in the paper today.

It's Friday night.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 17, 2006 9:17 PM

All jokes aside, Phil Collins is an amazing drummer. He may have gone saps-ville recently, but I doubt people realize how good a drummer he is.

I suggest any audiophile go and check out his stuff with the band Brand X. Rippin' stuff!

Posted by Chris McMullen | March 17, 2006 9:33 PM

Absolutely agree Chris; he has a fantastic talent. Have enjoyed him many years.

Posted by aaw | March 17, 2006 9:37 PM

Here's an amazing fact about Phil Collins: He was in the crowd for the theater scenes when the Beatles performed at the end of
"A Hard Day's Night."

Posted by Bill McDonald | March 17, 2006 9:38 PM

"I'll hide how much it's hurtin'" - Do You Know, Do You Care

"You're going nowhere without me" - Why Can't It Wait 'Till Morning

"But I don't remember / Take, take me home..." - Take Me Home

"That is why I want to testify" - Testify

"Ooh, it's all over / Ooh, it's all done" - It's Over

Posted by Chris | March 17, 2006 9:51 PM

I can't stand Phil.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 17, 2006 9:52 PM

I can't stand Phil any more, but Chris and aaw are right -- the man has (or at least had) some incredible chops. Old Genesis stuff was my favorite.

Posted by Ken | March 17, 2006 10:08 PM

Genesis is one thing. "Something in the Air Tonight" is quite another -- especially after the millionth time you hear it.

It's like McCartney -- the queen knighted him for what he did with the Beatles, then beheaded him for Wings.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 17, 2006 10:19 PM

Now, if we could only get Phil Collins and my radio to separate...

Posted by Alpal3 | March 17, 2006 10:30 PM

See that's what I was looking for. Thanks Al.

Posted by Chris Snethen | March 17, 2006 11:21 PM

Didn't he do a duet... "Separate Lives"?

Posted by Tk | March 17, 2006 11:29 PM

He seems to have an invisible spouse, yeah, she moves in and takes his wallet apart...

or better yet,

It's no fun, having a legal sep-ar-a-tion

or maybe

so, I see your suitcase, its got my silverware.
You know its all I have have left
From when I had my hair.
So see ya, a lit-tle later
The lawyers will get it it set
And no you shouldn't worry
My fourth wife is not born yet
Yes I'll see ya Mama
In my former backyard
Oh Oh....

Of all the things I wanted to say on this blog, THIS is what gets me to post. Please forgive my "creativity" its been a long day.

Posted by Rusty Shackleford | March 18, 2006 12:18 AM

Minor Tweaks says it all.
Missed again.

Posted by Alan Bluehole | March 18, 2006 6:56 AM

Their marriage took a bad turn when she refused to name their first child "Vodka."

Posted by Abe | March 18, 2006 8:10 AM

Jack, You think you can't stand Phil? You should hear how she feels about him.

Posted by Bill McDonald | March 18, 2006 8:15 AM

Who's Phil Collins?

Posted by Jim McLaughlin | March 18, 2006 8:40 AM

Phil Collins: The NEW Randy Newman for Disney cartoons...

Posted by TK | March 18, 2006 8:47 AM

Randy Newman is a genius. Phil Collins is... well, Phil Collins.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 18, 2006 2:14 PM

Randy Newman is a genius.

Normally I fast forward through the beginning titles and credits of shows I've Tivo'd. I ALWAYS play the beginning titles of "Monk" juat to listen to Randy Newman's "It's a Jungle Out There."

Randy Newman...genius indeed. Phil Collins? Not so much.

Posted by Frank Dufay | March 18, 2006 8:11 PM

C'mon already, Phil Collins sucks.

Bill McD, your first post was great.

Posted by Larry | March 18, 2006 9:38 PM

Gorbachev, minus the bird splat!

Posted by Jim Golden | March 19, 2006 5:24 AM

Randy Newman = the same 4 piano notes again and again while mumbling out of tune about nothing.

Phil Collins has one of the best catalogs of any career musician, even if the last 15 years have been crap. There aint much better than old Genesis, especially OLD Genesis, before Gabriel went solo.

Posted by Gullyborg | March 19, 2006 10:32 PM

Don't confuse Peter Gabriel's contributions to Genesis with Phil Collins's.

If you like junk like "Abacab" and "Sussudio" better than "Sail Away" or "Louisiana" by Randy Newman, there's not much I can do for you.

Posted by Jack Bog | March 20, 2006 6:25 AM

Don't lump all the Collins-led Genesis into the "Susudio" era (which wasn't even Genesis). Albums like Trick of the Tail and Duke totally kick butt. I can't stay awake while listening to anything by Randy Newman, whose essence was best captured as the raving idiot playing piano on a Family Guy episode.

Posted by Gullyborg | March 20, 2006 3:14 PM

Chris was right, Brand X was unreal. Tell ya, Jack. there just aren't that many people who can play that stuff. I mean, it was really hard to pull off. Talented drummer. Short, but talented.

mazoc

Love Randy too, the reason his voice sounds so garbled is that he has his tongue wedged soo far in his cheek.

Posted by john Mazzocco | March 20, 2006 3:39 PM

In Vino Veritas

Quinta das Amoras, Vinho Tinto 2009
Mauro Molino, Barbera d'Alba 2009
Garda Chiaretto Rose
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Vineyard 10 White
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Pinot Gris, Columbia Valley 2009
L'Hortus, Rose de Saignee 2010
Maculan, Pino & Toi 2008
McKinley Springs, Bombing Range Red 2008
Trader Joe's Pinot Gris 2009
Montes Alpha, Cabernet 2007
Gran Sasso, Sangiovese, Terre di Chieti 2009
Garda, Classico Chiaretto Rose
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1999
Picos del Montgo, Tempranillo 2008
Chateau de Montmirail, Vacqueyras 2008
La Granja 360, Syrah 2009
Montgras, Carmenere Reserva 2009
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Cabernet 2008
Kirkland, Pinot Grigio 2010
Trader Joe's Coastal Syrah 2009
Columbia Crest, Horse Heaven Hills Merlot 2008
Trader Joe's Coastal Chardonnay 2009
Vieux Papes Red
Domaine de l'Aujardiere, Chardonnay 2009
Santa Rita, Cabernet, Medalla Real 2007
Penfold's, Koonunga Hill Shiraz Cabernet 2008
Guild, Red, Lot #02 2008
Dievole, Dievolino Sangiovese 2008
Laforet, Burgogne Chardonnay 2009
Columbia Winery, Merlot 2007
Bonterra, Cabernet 2008
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2009
Maquis Lien 2006
Scott Paul, Pinot Noir, Le Paulee 2007
Cameron, Chardonnay
B.R. Cohn, Cabernet, Silver Label 2006
Graffigna, Cabernet 2005
Palo Alto, Reserve Red 2008
Menguante, Garnacha 2008
Lange, Pinot Gris 2009
Felsina Berardenga, Vin Santo 1997
Anne Amie, Pinot Gris 2009
McKinley Springs, Bombing Ramge Red 2007
Vieux Papes Red
Dionysius Chardonnay 2009
Haden Fig, Pinot Noir 2009
Vega Montan, Mencia 2008
Chateau la Vernede, Coteaux du Languedoc 2007
Mount Defiance, Hellfire (White) 2008
Root: 1, Cabernet 2008
Columbia Crest, Two Vines Pinot Grigio 2009
Columbia Crest, Two Vines, Vineyard 10 White, 2008
Columbia Crest, Two Vines, Vineyard 10 Rose, 2007
Abacela, Grenache Rose 2009
Avia Cabernet 2004
Lemelson Pinot Noir, Thea's Selection 2007
Chateau de la Roulerie, Rose d'Anjou 2009
Casal Garcia, Vinho Verde Rose
La Ferme Julien, Rose 2008
Cana's Feast, Bricco Red, 2006
Hogue, Genesis Merlot, 2008
Owen Roe, Sharecropper's Cabernet, 2008
Kim Crawford, Unoaked Chardonnay 2008
J. Scott, Pinot Noir 2008
Edmunds St. John, White, Heart of Gold 2008
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2006
Stevenot, Cabernet, Sierra Foothills, "Stanford" 2000
Portuga, Vinho Rose 2009
Taylor Fladgate, First Estate Reserve Porto
Franciscan, Cabernet, Napa 2006
Chaparral de Vega Sindoa, Garnacha 2008
Quinta da Aveleda, Vinho Verde 2008
St. Francis, Chardonnay Sonoma 2008
E. Guigal, Cotes du Rhone Blanc, 2007
Edmunds St. John, Bone-Jolly, Gamay Noir 2008
St. Innocent, Pinot Noir 2006
Jigsaw, Pinot Noir 2007
Chateau Ste. Michelle, Merlot, Indian Wells 2007
Charles Shaw, Chardonnay 2008
Edmunds St. John, Bone-Jolly, Gamay Rosé 2009
Cameron, Willamette Valley Chardonnay
Il Valore, Sangiovese, Giovane, Puglia 2008
Duck Pond, Chardonnay, Wahluke Slope 2007
Kim Crawford, Marlborough Pinot Noir 2008
Domaine du Pesquier, Cotes du Rhone 2005
Cantina Zaccagnini, Montepulciano d'Abruzzo 2006
Domaine Matrot, Chardonnay, Bourgogne 2007
David Hill, Oregon Sparkling Wine, Brut
Chandler Reach, Monte Regalo 2006
Elk Cove, Pinot Gris 2008
Kirkland, Columbia Valley Merlot 2008
D'Aragon, Old Vine Garnacha 2008
Columbia Crest, Walter Clore Private Reserve 2005
Pavin & Riley, Merlot 2006
David Hill, Estate Pinot Noir, Barrel Select 2006
Castle Rock, Paso Robles Cabernet 2006
Magnificent, Cabernet, Steak House 2008
Conundrum 2008
Beaulieu, Cabernet, Rutherford 1998
Saint Cosme, Cotes-du-Rhone 2007
La Granja, Tempranillo 360, 2008
Santa Rita, Mendalla Real Cabernet 2006
Columbia Crest, Grand Estates Merlot 2006
Andezon, Cotes-du-Rhone 2007
Collegiata, Montepulciano d'Abruzzo
Troon, Druid's Fluid 2008
La Granja, Tempranillo 2008
Monte Antico, Toscana 2006
Vieux Papes, Blanc de Blancs

The Occasional Book

Niccolò Machiavelli - The Prince
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird
Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus - The Nanny Diaries
Brian Selznick - The Invention of Hugo Cabret
Sharon Creech - Walk Two Moons
Keith Richards - Life
F. Sionil Jose - Dusk
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting
Justin Halpern - S#*t My Dad Says
Mark Herrmann - The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law
Barry Glassner - The Gospel of Food
Phil Stanford - The Peyton-Allan Files
Jesse Katz - The Opposite Field
Evelyn Waugh - Brideshead Revisited
J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
David Sedaris - Holidays on Ice
Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Mitch Albom - Have a Little Faith
C.S. Lewis - The Magician's Nephew
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
William Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
Ivan Doig - Bucking the Sun
Penda Diakité - I Lost My Tooth in Africa
Grace Lin - The Year of the Rat
Oscar Hijuelos - Mr. Ives' Christmas
Madeline L'Engle - A Wrinkle in Time
Steven Hart - The Last Three Miles
David Sedaris - Me Talk Pretty One Day
Karen Armstrong - The Spiral Staircase
Charles Larson - The Portland Murders
Adrian Wojnarowski - The Miracle of St. Anthony
William H. Colby - Long Goodbye
Steven D. Stark - Meet the Beatles
Phil Stanford - Portland Confidential
Rick Moody - Garden State
Jonathan Schwartz - All in Good Time
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Anthony Holden - Big Deal
Robert J. Spitzer - The Spirit of Leadership
James McManus - Positively Fifth Street
Jeff Noon - Vurt

Road Work

Miles run year to date: 26
At this date last year: 15
Total run in 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269