Think about how the concession sales would improve. First period, smoke a joint. Second thru fourth periods satisfy the munchies. While the fans may not be as enthusiastic as other teams (dude, was that a basket?) it certainly couldn’t be worse than it is already. And think, we would never have an all out audience participation brawl like Indiana, the fans would be too laid back to get riled up. What’s the problem…and pass the joint.

Whoa, dude -- check out the bobbleheads!

And the Blazer Dancers could just do that "Eugene chick dance" where you bend backward and swoon around...

I thought the priceless part was when he claimed it was an illegal search. Airport security...an illegal search.
That worked when they found several pounds in his house, but not this time. By the way that also led to one of my better Blazer jokes: Looks like Damon's lost a couple of pounds in the off-season.
Still my favorite was Rasheed and Damon in the speeding yellow Hummer bombing back from a Seattle late at night with a lit joint Bob Marley couldn't lift. Ahh, the memories.

Only someone smoking something would spend HALF A BILLION dollars on the Blazers. Ah, what the hell, it's all funny-money in my mind after $74.35.

It'll give a whole new meaning to "the Blazers".

BLAZE ONE UP!

Of course, we could rename the team...how about "The Doobie Brothers"?

And with Damon the new owner, I imagine there's money to be had selling the rights to re-name the arena
"The American Agricultural Supply Gro-light Garden"

And yet he'd STILL be better than Paul Allen.

plus there's more revenue for the local utility company inasmuch as the meter readers would need to(Segway) past the newly re-named arena.....twice a week rather than once a month because of the gro-lights causing such a drain on the power grid

Clearly a slow sports day.

But here's a PR solution for Steve Patterson to seriously consider emulating, if he wants to get play for his public / private partnership. Better make them good seats, tho.

76ers, Philly police announce guns-for-tickets program

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — The Philadelphia 76ers and police officials Tuesday announced a program aimed at curbing gun violence by exchanging tickets for guns. The one-week program opens Wednesday. Anyone can bring a working gun into a city police station and exchange it for a voucher good for a pair of tickets to an upcoming 76ers game, no questions asked.

"If we get one (gun), it's a successful program," said Billy King, the team's president. "If we get one, if we get a thousand — whatever we get — that's going to be good enough."

Sitting at a table with 15 guns ranging from semiautomatic rifles to tiny, easily concealed handguns, police commissioner Sylvester Johnson said the program wasn't only for illegal guns. He would be happy if law-abiding citizens turned in their firearms, too.

"Any gun that can kill needs to be taken off the streets," Johnson said.

One thing I always delight in reminding everybody is that Damon was also a columnist for the Oregonian for a while there. Remember when he wrote that guest column during the playoffs one year?
True or not, I love the image of our favoirite potential Blazers owner firing off a big doobie and then sitting down to write for our favorite daily. Maybe that's why they turned me down for a columnist job: I wasn't stoned enough. Darn it. See, you can't be a comedy writer and use something that artificially makes things funny.

The Philadelphia 76ers and police officials Tuesday announced a program aimed at curbing gun violence by exchanging tickets for guns.

Please, don't even suggest that in Portland! I can see Sebastian Telfair trying to turn in his tickets for a new gun.

Official Blazer lighters.

The odd thing about this whole raft of stories, which hasn't been picked up is the "oh, by the way, Bob Witsett is trying to put together an ownership group too".

Can you imagine? I'll bet owner Bob could get Shawn Kemp for a song these days!

Can't we just give the "kicker" to the Blazers and be done with it?

Oh for f**ks sake, it was weed not crack. Damon's a pretty smart guy, even if the tinfoil was stupid. And I appreciate that he still loves the Blazers, despite his experience playing here, simply because he grew up with them. I can relate to that. The dude's got money, he's a smart businessman to boot, and yet you chide him for wanting to reinvest in the community?

Can we have Nice Week back again?

Didn't, Paul McCartney get busted at an airport in Japan with pot. And he turned out to be a pretty smart businessman.

If someone wants to buy the Blazers away from Paul Allen, who obviously wants to ditch our little podunk burg, then good. Will all the Blazer haters be happy when we're the biggest city in the US without one major sports team?

he's a smart businessman to boot

Really? I'd call Damon a lot of things, many of them good, but "smart" is not one of them. I like the "boot" part.