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Tuesday, June 6, 2006

A sense of where you are

There's a new paper over in Central Oregon. It's called Bend Weekly.

They've even got the police blotter:

A Bend man was arrested for driving while under the influence of intoxicants. He was leaving K.O.'s south when stopped, and during his arrest interview his response to the question "Where are you now?" was "Trouble." 5/19/06

Comments (7)

Few things in life are better than the police blotter from small town newspapers. Not because crazier things happen there, but because there's so little news that they print anything. I lived in a small town in southern Minnesota for some time, and that paper's blotter was like a series of Monty Python skits transported to Minnesota. My favorite was something like "Resident _______ called police late Sunday night to report a neighbor's bull had broken into her barn and was harassing her cows. Upon inspection, officers determined that the "bull" was her intoxicated neighbor, who was intent on making mischief with her cattle." Classic.

Since he was that quick with his response, I think he should have got a .08 subtracted from his breathalizer results.

we small towners got to entertain ourselves somehow. The folks from big cities aren't always around to take the brunt, either. lol

Blotters aren't just for breakfast and small towns. The Tribune should start a column with snippets from Portland incident reports. I dunno the costs involved, though I suspect the Bureau severely overcharges for copies.

Here's the story behind my fave police report line. A drunk slaps patrons inside Blue Balls (an old pub in St. Johns), pulls out a hammer, smashes the front plate glass window with it, jumps into a white convertible Rabbit with the top down, cops chase him down Lombard, he crashes, exits his car and is confronted by police. He fails to obey commands and is peppersprayed. He starts screaming about the pain and wails this line: "This burns worse than when I had gonorrhea!" One cop laughed so hard he had difficulty handcuffing the suspect.

How does a paper NOT print that?

If their police blotter is even half as entertaining as the one in the Arcata Eye, it'll be well worth reading.

If you like reading entertaining police reports go to the San Francisco Police Northern District website and read the community newsletter.


This is a must read, laugh out loud story about a restauranteur in Minnesota.


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